Archive | January 2012

Romance & Intimacy Resources pt. 2

Keeping the romance alive in your marriage is not hard to do, it just takes effort. Is your marriage worth it? I hope you believe so! Maybe you don’t feel like it is because you & your spouse have stopped pursuing each other. The honeymoon doesn’t have to be for just one night, it can last your whole lifetime.

Insanity is described as doing the same things and expecting different results. Are you never-changing, always doing the same things but still expecting change? If so, I encourage you to step out of the box and try something new. You won’t regret it!

I am not a promoter of sleeping with anyone before you are married, so these resources I’m listing are strictly for married couples. I will post some future blogs specifically for singles with advice and tools on how to enjoy being single, and also how to find that right one.

1. http://www.husbandandwife.net
This site sells lingerie, bath and body stuff; books and a lot of other cool things to spice up your marriage.

*I LOVE that this site uses only mannequins to display the lingerie-I do not agree with the pornography industry, it destroys marriages. So why not invest our money in a better cause?!?! *

2. http://www.threepassionslingerie.com
Another awesome site just like the previous one with the same values.

All About The Munchkins

For those of you that have children I’m sure you will agree with me when I say that they grow SO FAST!!!! My husband and I have five beautiful children. Two 8 year olds, a 4 and 3-year-old and a 10 month old.

It’s awesome to see them grow and have different personalities but at the same time it kinda makes you sad. My youngest will be a year in a little over a month and my 4-year-old will be turning 5 soon! Our 8 year olds will be teens in a few years-it seems really crazy saying that. Man!!  Where did the time go?

With that being said, there are going to be a long series of blogs that I’m dedicating specifically to parenting, spending time with our children, fun family games, ect.

Two things that we never get back are our words and our time. It would be nice if we could rewind time but we can’t. Time is a gift believe it or not and it’s up to us how we choose to spend it. Jobs can come and go and so can friends but outside of God our families need to be our #1 priority!!!

Do you place your family first or are they sometimes put on the back burner for other people or things? Who wants a life full of regrets, I know I don’t. Spend time with your children while you can because they don’t stay children for ever and every moment counts. If you aren’t active in your children’s life it’s never too late to put in some effort.

Take some time today and play with your kids, laugh with them and talk to them. See what’s new in their life, you’ll be glad you did. Try to dedicate at least one night a week as family night! No interruptions, just you guys!

Keep The Fire Burning! pt. 1

Normally fires are something we try to avoid at all costs! In regards to your marriage I encourage you to keep the fire burning hot!

Here are some tips:
1. Continue to do what you were doing when you were courting a.k.a. dating!

If you were opening doors, continue to do that. If you were buying little gifts just to say I love you, don’t stop! Ladies if you were making your man wonderful meals on a regular basis continue.

I find a lot of times after people get married they figured they have won and “snagged” their spouse so what is the purpose in doing all these things. Well you have to remember what attracted you to your spouse in the first place and them to you. Romance and true intimacy beyond the physical aspect is not something that just happens, you have to work at it and work on keeping it alive!

2. Don’t stop having fun!

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life but life should be enjoyed and so should your spouse. Do you enjoy your spouse? If not, let’s go back to the basics. Are you having fun with them? If not, why? Are you too busy or are they? Make time for them and seek out things you enjoy together. My husband and I both enjoy a good laugh so we play games together and we crack a lot of jokes. We enjoy each other because we make time for each other and we actively pursue each other.

Romance & Intimacy Resources pt. 1

Here are a couple of resources that I have personally used to enhance communication, romance & intimacy in my marriage. Enjoy!

1. “The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman

This is a wonderful book that my hubby & I both enjoyed! He also has some free assessments on his website that are informative & fun. http://www.5lovelanguages.com

2. “The Love Dare” by Alex & Stephen Kendrick

Another wonderful book that takes you on a 40 day journey and challenge. You can get the book for under $9 on their website http://www.thelovedarebook.com *from the hit movie “Fireproof”

“Romance Investigation”

Weird title right? I’ve decided to title it this way because I believe in order to fully understand romance and how to achieve it we have to know what it is first.

ROMANCE-1. The state of being in love 2. A story about love between people. 3. To court romantically. (To court means to date)

Next I think we should examine why we are pursuing romance? (If that is in fact what you are doing in your current relationship)

Why we are in pursuit of it are personal questions you should be asking yourself. If you find that your main focus or motives are more self-serving than anything you might want to hold off on pursuing romance. You wouldn’t want to start this thing off on a bad foot. With that being said in my next post I’m going to include some resources that I believe aid in the area of romance and intimacy with your spouse and God. (Yes, you can be intimate with God)

So much to do, so little time!

When I was in college one of the first valuable things that I learned were some vital keys for time management. Some of you probably learned some successful time management strategies early on, but for me this one thing was a MAJOR issue!

I was one of those people who tried to do everything at once. I would already be overwhelmed in my mind before I had even started a task. I would be mentally imagining what all needed to be done, exactly how I was going to do it and the amount of time I estimated it would take.

This is just a part of the process I would go through. Don’t even mention a distraction coming my way, or something coming up to get me off focus; I would really be in trouble then!

So to make a long story short I really needed help in this area. I had to start with the way I thought about things. I had to stop pressuring myself to be this “Superwoman” that God had never intended for me to be in the first place. I had to figure out that some things are important, some things can wait and somethings don’t need to be done at all or at least not by you.

Having children I grew accustomed to always trying to do EVERYTHING for them and never allowing them to do things for themselves. For me time management started with me being realistic with my personal expectations as well of letting go of false control.

Here are some tips that really helped me:

1. Make a to do list in order of priority. Get the things done that are urgent first and then go from there.

2. Make the list realistic and feasible.

3. If you have to set certain times during the day to complete your tasks then do that. (during these times do not be afraid to tell people no)

4. Focus on one thing at a time! Multi-tasking is ok during certain times, but some things require more attention and focus and you should do just that-FOCUS!

5. Feel accomplished even if you don’t get EVERYTHING done-make sure you’re beng realistic and reasonable with your goals or you will never feel accomplished.

*I HAVE MORE TO ADD TO THIS LIST BUT LET’S FOCUS ON THESE FOR NOW*

But where to start??

Having and maintaining relationships with anyone takes work, time and dedication. You get whatever you invest into something, if you don’t invest in your marriage you won’t get anything out of it.

Start off small and then build on that, if you never ask your spouse “How was work? ” why don’t you try that today.  Communication is key but someone has to initiate it.